


Stain of Evil

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode Related, Established Relationship, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-14
Updated: 2006-03-14
Packaged: 2019-02-02 00:36:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12716160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Shifu's lesson takes a while to sink in.





	Stain of Evil

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: None.  


* * *

"Okay, spill."

Jack's voice barely penetrates the fog of horror that still clouds my senses. The dream is over, Shifu has gone, and Jack's driving me home through the evening rain, but my mind is still trapped in the projected future I have been forced to witness.

"Daniel."

I hear him, but I can't respond -- not yet. He must sense my need to process a while longer, because he doesn't say anything more. Before I know it, we're at my apartment, and I climb the stairs in a kind of daze, Jack following closely behind. Once inside, he crosses to the couch and simply sits, waiting, as I pace the room.

When I finally start to speak, the words come out in a rush, as if they're trying to escape the confines of my mind and find release out in the open air. Jack listens without interrupting while I describe everything I can remember from when Shifu touched my forehead to the moment I awoke in the infirmary for the second time.

As I near the end, I turn to look at Jack and find him regarding me steadily, with something akin to admiration in his eyes. It's all too much and I sink down into a chair, unable to maintain eye contact. How can he take this so calmly? Doesn't he realise what I've been telling him? I ask him.

"It's happened time and again -- Hathor, Shyla, and now this. How many demonstrations of weakness is it going to take for you to lose faith in me?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Daniel," he admonishes, but his tone is soft. "You're one of the strongest men I know."

"But I murdered Teal'c, put Sam in prison and forced you to try to kill me, Jack. I didn't even try to fight it -- how can you say that doesn't show how weak I am?" I look up again, afraid to discover the impact of my words, but needing to see him.

"You're missing the point of Shifu's lesson, Daniel." A hint of exasperation creeps into Jack's voice, but his eyes are tender. "He was trying to show you that even the best of men can be corrupted by the knowledge of the Goa'uld. You said yourself it would be like taking on a thousand Hitlers -- nobody could withstand that. Not even you."

I don't know if it's the continuing effects of the dream or an emotional response to Jack's words, but I feel tears begin to spill down my cheeks. Jack crosses the space between us in a second, taking my face in his hands and gently kissing the wetness.

"I love you," he says, "and I will always believe in you. You could never do anything to change that."

Later, I listen as Jack's breathing slowly evens out, his grip across my chest loosened by the pull of sleep. He holds me as if trying to reassure himself that I'm really there, and I realise that it must have been hard for him today. Despite his veneer of stupidity and professed disinterest in 'science stuff', he hates not knowing what's giong on. I can imagine he must have annoyed the hell out of Janet, demanding explanations for my state of unconsciousness that she was unable to give. Of course, then he would have turned on Shifu, automatically suspecting an evil Goa'uld conspiracy or three. Trust and patience do not come easily to Jack, a legacy of his life at the darker edges of the military, and for that I grieve.

It is my great privilege, however, that his trust and patience are almost infinite with me. The dream today showed it more clearly than ever before -- even taking into account the suspicious nature of Teal'c's death and Sam's incarceration, Jack was reluctant to believe that my motives were anything other than good. I know the scenario was playing out in my subconscious, but his actions within it must have been based on my knowledge of his character.

The pressure of Jack's belief in me pushes me up and out of the bed, carefully extricating myself from his embrace as I go. I don't ever want to disappoint him the way I did in the dream. When it comes down to it, that's what bothers me most -- not the things I did, but the way they affected Jack. When he pulled his gun on me, I could see the necessity was killing him, and it hurt me, even through the taint of the Goa'uld knowledge in my mind. I don't ever want to see that expression on his face in reality

I move blindly to the balcony, and step out into the rain, trying to escape the images that crowd my mind. I breathe in the cold, night air and begin to think more clearly. Jack's faith in me isn't absolute -- he would never allow things to escalate as far as they did in the dream, and that is my faith in him. We face life together, each prepared to support the other in times of need, but never afraid to speak out and lend some perspective when necessary.

Stretching my arms out and lifting my face to the heavens, I let the rain wash away the stain of the dream. The cocoon of Jack's love wraps me safely and keeps me warm.

I feel naked. I feel free.


End file.
